


Perfection has a Million Definitions

by CaptDonavin



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Phichiametti Week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 03:03:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14227728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptDonavin/pseuds/CaptDonavin
Summary: These were my one shots for Phichiametti week 20171. Phichit's first time and how Chris handles it.2. Some Phichit and Chris being domestic and cheating on their strict diets.3. Phichit and Chris plan a little surprise for their anniversary.4. An AU where Chris is an escort that Phichit hired.5. Phichit and Chris just landed in Hatsetsu and Phichit is not dealing well with the Jet lag. (Background Viktyuur)6. (ooh shit, this one) Phichit's female hamster does something unexpected and he hides away until Chris helps him deal with it.7. This one is long, but the boys are going to see Viktor and Yuuri, and Phichit can't help but shower his love with surprises. (Or one big surprise)





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn’t Christophe Giacometti’s first walk in the park, and the world knew that. Everyone could tell by the way that he interacted with his fans and the ice that he was a man with one thing on his mind. But Christophe hadn’t been with someone who had never even seen the park before. Even his first time had had plenty of experience and they had tested the grass a lot before they went in deep.

But here he was, the infamous Christophe Giacomettti, laying beside a nervous Phichit as they discussed the possibility of introducing the innocent Thailander to the park.

“Is it as fun as they say?” Phitchit asked as he scrolled through his phone, too embarrassed to look his friend in the eye. “I mean, like… does it blow your mind?”

“I wouldn’t do it if it didn’t,” Chris giggled back as he found Phichit’s embarrassment adorable. “I still can’t believe that you’ve never done it before.”

“I don’t know,” Phichit sighed as he sat up on the bed. “I was always told that it was something big to be shared with the right person, and I haven’t even met a person willing to try before.” There was an obvious blush that covered his cheeks and Chris couldn’t help but stare.

“I’m sure that you’ve met someone before and you just didn’t notice,” Chris tried to consol.

Phichit shook his head and looked away, the embarrassment showing even more. Chris sat up behind Phichit and wrapped his arms around the other man.

“You really are oblivious,” Chris growled as he rested his chin on the exposed skin where Phichit’s neck met his shoulder.

“Yeah?” Phichit asked as shivers started to run down his spine, either from the implication or the hot breaths on his exposed skin. Either way, Phichit was enjoying the sensation.

“I saw you preform years ago,” Chris said as his long eyelashes brushed Phichit’s skin. “And you looked so perfect on the ice, I just wanted to prove that you’re human too. You seemed so untouchable and I had to have you. So pure. So tame. I had to see who you really were.”

Phichit giggled in response. “Well, you kinda nailed it. I’m not wild or seductive like you.”

“You are half right,” Chris interjected. “You aren’t wild, but you are crazy seductive.”

Phichit sat in shocked silence. He had no clue what Chris was talking about. People had described him as cute, pure, adorable, and likeable before, no one had ever dared to say that he was seductive. Truth be told, he probably wouldn’t have believed them if they had.

“How?” Phichit breathed.

“You are a tease Chulanont,” Chris replied. “You show everyone just enough of you that they want more. In every picture, they see just enough of you and your life and they feel like they can be apart of it, but they can’t. And I want to know everything about you. Everything that you’re hiding just out of frame in your pictures.”

Phichit stiffened in Chris’ arms. This was like a dream come true to the Thai boy. He had had a crush on Chris for the longest time. Chris was everything that Phichit wasn’t and almost wished that he could be. Everyone talked to Phichit like he was as perfect as the pictures that he took. Everyone commented on how he captured everything that needed to be captured – but here was someone who saw past it all. He was shocked that something that profound would come out of the mouth of Christophe Giacometti – the man who could even make the ice cum.

“You’re just saying that to get in my pants,” Phichit decided.

Chris giggled into Phichit’s shoulder and shook his head at the adorable man in front of him. “Sadly, I’m not,” Chris corrected. “I mean every word.”

There was a pause as Phichit took in what Christophe had said. The man behind him had more to him than his sex appeal.

“Though I wouldn’t mind if it helped.”

Phichit then leaned back into the Swiss man as he laughed and submitted to where things were going. Phichit really liked Chris, and, maybe there wasn’t a right person, but Chris could sure paint himself as the perfect one.

Phichit tilted his head back and allowed Chris to connect their mouths. There was Phichit’s first kiss gone at the age of twenty-one – and soon he would allow this perfect man to show him around the park – because really, Phichit couldn’t think of anyone he would rather do this with.


	2. Domestic

Chris and Phichit had a good thing going. Whenever they had competitions against each other they roomed together, much to their coaches’ demise. They didn’t really mind the separation much, it just meant that it was more exciting when they did get to be near each other. They had face time and cellphones anyway, so it really didn’t feel like they were apart that often.

What was weirdest to Chris, was that when they did get to see each other, he didn’t feel the urge to jump into bed immediately like he did with every other relationship. He actually enjoyed spending time with the Thai man, and it was weird to Chris. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy sex with the Thai man, it was just that Chris actually found him interesting. He had never been in that type of relationship before – they had always been urgent and full of lust.

“Hey,” Phichit said as he nudged Chris with his bare foot.

“What?” Chris asked and he looked down the bed to his lover.

“Look at what Viktor just posted in Instagram.”

Chris looked over to the other man’s phone and laughed at the picture. It was a picture of a frazzled looking Yurio running at the camera, obviously screaming, and an equally dishevelled Otabek smirking in the background. Both had incredibly swollen and pink lips, which made it obvious what had been taking place before the picture was snapped.

“Coach Viktor probably told them to say cheese before he got the chance to actually capture the moment,” Chris laughed as he gently rested his hand on Phichit’s leg and went back to his own phone.

“Hey Chris?” Phichit asked from across the bed.

“Yes, Phichit?” Chris answered as he looked up and saw the excitement in his lover’s eye.

“There aren’t any scandalous pictures of us on the internet yet.”

Chris leaned back and thought about what Phichit was saying – and the man was right. There were dozens of pictures of Viktor and Yuuri, because they couldn’t seem to keep their hands to themselves. And Otabek and Yuri were still young, so they were usually caught doing more risky and exciting things. While even JJ and Izzy had a few photos out there of them being a little too close. Then there was Phichit and Chris – and there was nothing.

“You’re right,” Chris mused. “Though it’s probably because no one cares about another Giacometti sex scandal.”

“But wouldn’t they care about one from me?” Phichit asked. “I mean I can see the headlines now: THE PURE THAI SKATER WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE, MAY NOT BE AS PURE AS WE THINK.”

Chris laughed as he crawled across the bed so that he could be closer to Phichit. “Or more likely they would read: SWISS SKATER GIACOMETTI CLAIMS YET ANOTHER SKATER’S INNOCENCE.”

They both laughed before settling back into their phones. Time ticked by and eventually their relaxing afternoon was broken by Chris’ stomach growling.

“Oh, come on, that’s not sexy at all,” Chris scolded his stomach as his lover let out a laugh beside him.

“Since when do you care about being sexy for me?” Phichit laughed as he sat up in the bed and turned to get out of it.

“I am always trying for you,” Chris groaned as he reached out to pull the man back into bed. “Where are you going, did my tummy really scare you off?”

“I’m going to get you food,” Phichit laughed as he stood up. “Your ‘tummy’ growling is usually a sign that you’re hungry.”

“But we have dinner with the rest of the skaters soon and I don’t want to be too full, especially because Coach Viktor said that he was covering everything.”

“Don’t worry, what I have in mind won’t fill you up too much, it’ll just tide you over until we get our food,” Phichit grinned as he walked over to the mini fridge and pulled out a colourful box.

“What is that?” Chris asked as his lover walked back with the colourful box.

“It’s a Lunchable. I fell in love with them when I was training in America. Celestino never lets me eat them because he says that they aren’t healthy, but I just can’t resist,” Phichit explained as he pulled back the film that was supposed to keep the food inside fresh.

“Oh god,” Chris coughed. “It smells worse than my cat’s shit.”

“Egh, you get used to the smell,” Phichit explained as he started piling the “meat” and the “cheese” on top of a cracker. “Now open wide.”

Chris looked at the food being offered to him skeptically, but opened his mouth anyway. He was shocked when the food tasted way better than it had smelled and hummed in agreement afterwards. There really wasn’t anything exciting about the food, it was just meat, cheese, and a cracker, but he could see the appeal in the snack sized portion and how it was laid out.

“See not bad, huh?” Phichit asked as he started to build another. He handed it to Chris but made a motion for him to not eat it yet. The Thai skater built another one and puled out his phone.

“What are you doing?” Chris asked as he looked at the man beside him skeptically.

“I said that we don’t have any scandalous pictures of us out there, so why don’t we make one,” Phichit said with a grin as he leaned into his partner and held up his snack for the camera to see. Chris did the same and smiled sensually while the picture was being taken.

“There,” Phichit smiled as he uploaded the picture. “The perfect scandal for the sex icon and his pure companion.

The first two comments on the photo were from their coached telling them to get that trash out of their mouths.


	3. Celebrations

Phichit was so nervous and excited. He wasn’t very good at surprises, but he was going to try. He and Chris had decided to go back to Barcelona for their second anniversary. It was where they had, well, done many things for the first time.

Phichit had arrived in Barcelona a few hours early and had started setting up his big surprise. He went to the park where he and Chris had… taken their relationship to the next level. He found the park where they had done the sacred deed and started to set up. It wasn’t a very hidden spot which made Phichit blush at the memory – but they had been young and a little too eager.

He had brought as many extension cords as he could fit into his suitcase and a few strings of fairy lights to hang in the bushes around the spot. He was lucky that the spot had been as close to an outdoor stage as it had been so that he had somewhere to plug in his lights. He had rented a table and two chairs from a party planner that were due to be dropped off any moment.

Through the party planner, he had also arranged them to cater it. Phichit really didn’t know what to have them bring so he told them to surprise him. Both he and Chris were on strict diets so that they could stay in shape for competitions, though Phichit was planning on not caring what he ate for his anniversary. No matter what came tonight, it would be amazing because he would be with Chris. His Christophe Giacometti. Not the skater. Not the sex icon – but his beautiful and sweet boyfriend.

…

Christophe arrived at their hotel exactly an hour before he said he would. It was quarter after four in the afternoon. He knew that Phichit wouldn’t be there because the Thai skater had said that there were a few sights that he wanted to capture while he was waiting for Chris to arrive in Barcelona. Chris didn’t mind because it gave him time to set things up in their room. They had promised to have a relaxing evening together, but Chris planned on it being at least a little exciting.

He had brought his red silk sheets from home and had made sure that they had a room with a king-sized bed in it so that his sheets would fit. He had stopped by a florist on the way and had picked up a dozen white roses. Half of them he would save in their perfection, but the others would be torn apart and scattered throughout the room. Before all of that, he would spray them with his favourite cologne, because he knew that Phichit loved the smell of it.

Chris grinned as he thought about the actual gifts he had brought for Phichit as well. He had brought two of his favourite shirts and one of his favourite hoodies – all doused in the potent perfume. And in a smaller package next to the main gift was what Chris was most excited for Phichit to open. He knew the gift was stupid, and would probably bend his lover over in laughter – but he loved hearing Phichit’s laugh.

The smaller package contained the pair of boxers that Chris had worn the first time they had sex. He knew that Phichit would remember the pair because they were such an ugly mix of bright colours that Phichit had burst out laughing upon seeing them. Chris still maintained that they looked amazing on him, but he couldn’t wear them without thinking about how Phichit had removed them – so they were better in Phichit’s hands anyway.

Chris noted the time and decided that Phichit would probably return to their rooma t any moment in anticipation for Chris’ “arrival”. So, Chris stripped down to nothing and laid patiently on the bed with a rose in his mouth.

Now all he had to do was wait.

…

It was about a half hour after Chris said that he would arrive in Barcelona and there still wasn’t a single text from him. Phichit was waiting out in the park with his romantic dinner all set up and ready for when his partner would arrive. The party planner had left a couple of warmers in order to keep the food warm until Chris arrived. The park was right across from the hotel, so it really shouldn’t have mattered, but, where was he?

Phichit looked at his phone and scowled. He wished that their spot had been in view of the hotel for the first time in his life so he could see if Chris had actually made it or not. His plane was scheduled to land at five and the hotel was a five-minute ride from the airport which still gave Chris ten minutes at the baggage claim in order to secure his possessions.

That was it, Chris was now forty-five minutes late, and Phichit was way too worried about his lover. So Phichit opened snap-chat and sent his boyfriend a snap captioned: YOU HERE YET???

The reply appeared on Phichit’s screen in seconds. It was a picture of a shirtless Chris in a hotel room, and from how teasingly low thecamera captured, it looked as though his partner wasn’t wearing any clothes at all. Phichit shook his head and laughed to himself.

He took a snap of himself with his entire set-up in the background. He thought long and hard about what he was going to caption it with before settling on: NO DESSERT BEFORE DINNER.

He then followed that snap with one that showcased the spot for what it actually was and it said: GET YOUR BEAUTIFUL ASS DOWN HERE.

It took about two minutes for Chris’ face to be directly in front of his. The man was wearing loose jogging pants and an unbuttoned shirt. Phichit laughed when he saw his partner’s disheveled appearance. The Thai skater leaned forwards and started buttoning up the other’s shirt before giving the other a quick kiss.

“I didn’t bother to put my underwear on,” Chris grinned as Phichit pulled away. “So, you need to either not do things like that and make this fast, or we are going to do this right here and right now.”

The dinner went smoothly – and quickly – before the two retreated up to their room. Chris gave Phichit his presents which did in fact cause Phichit to double over from laughter, and once Phichit caught his breathe he called Chris a “sentimental bastard” before pulling the Swiss man into bed.


	4. Escort AU

Chris looked up at the apartment complex and sighed. He wasn’t used to making house calls. He usually got dropped off at a restaurant and then would be taken to some cheap hotel. Though, most men who called him were middle-aged and hidden so deeply in the closet that they hated him. This one seemed different though.

He walked forward and pressed the button that corresponded with the address that he had been sent and waited for an answer.

“Hi,” a cheerful voice on the other end called.

“I’m here,” Chris said into the speaker and waited.

“Oh, right,” the man on the other end responded, sounding a little more nervous. “Come right up.”

The door in front of Chris opened and he walked through.

3-305 was the apartment number. The man probably wrote it that way so that Chris would go to the third floor, even though it was obvious that the three hundreds’ wouldn’t be on the first or second floor. Chris laughed at the childish move and got even more curious about his client.

He found the apartment easily and knocked without hesitating. Almost before his hand left the door it swung open and he was pulled into the living space.

“Hey, I’m Phichit Chulanout,” the man in front of him stated with a smile.

“This guy really is weird,” Chris thought to himself as he returned the greeting, but refrained from giving his name. The guy looked a little disheartened, but lightened up as he gestured to the other room.

“I made us dinner, if that’s okay,” Phichit said as he walked into the other room.

Chris nodded and followed the other man, curious as to how the night would go. This really wasn’t like any of his jobs before, but he wasn’t going to put it to an end. When the kitchen opened up in front of him he was shocked. There were candles and the lights were dimmed. The food was already served on the dishes and there was a bottle of wine on the table.

Chris laughed to himself at the naivety of the other man, but he knew that he should probably be taking the situation seriously for his client.

“Why did you laugh?” Phichit asked with an obviously fake pout on his face. “I worked very hard on all of this.”

“You know what I am right?” Chris asked with a smirk.

“You are a lovely young man here to steal my virginity from me,” Phichit grinned as he pulled out a seat for Chris. “Please take a seat.”

Chris took the seat offered to him and leaned on the table in front of him. Once the other man sat across the table, Chris couldn’t hold it in any longer. He was supposed to be as distant from his clients as possible, but he could tell it was going to be hard with this one.

“So, I’ll be your first?” Chris asked as the man across from him shoved a fork full of salad into his mouth before replying with a curt nod.

“And you laid all of this out because you wanted it to be special?” Chris prodded further.

The other man nodded before swallowing and allowing a smile to break across his face.

“You know, I’m twenty-one years old and the furthest I’ve gotten with anyone is a kiss. Not even a make-out session, just a kiss. I didn’t really want to ask anyone I knew, so I looked up escorts. You had pretty outstanding reviews, so I shot you a message,” he explained.

“But why the fancy dinner and everything?” Chris asked as he was completely intrigued by this other man.

“Because I didn’t want my first time to be just a quickie in a cheap motel,” Phichit admitted. “I at least need the illusion of it meaning something.”

Chris had watched Phichit’s eyes through the entire exchange. The man had remained smiling, and the smile never left his eyes. Phichit genuinely found the situation amusing, and that intrigued Chris even more.

“Then why not just wait for the right man?” Chris asked.

“Because I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of the right guy. What if he laughs? What if I’m so terrible at it he leaves me?”

“Then he’s not the right man,” Chris said plainly.

“I’d still rather have a professional teach me,” Phichit shrugged.

“I’m more like a professional sex-addict than anything,” Chris grinned.

Phichit shrugged as he continued to eat and Chris watched him.

“So how is this going to work?” Phichit asked, the nerves finally showing a little bit.

“Well,” Chris hummed as he looked the boy dead in the eye, “It all depends on what you like.”

“I don’t know what I like,” Phichit stated. “This will be my first time.”

“Well, what have you fantasized about then?” Chris prodded further.

Phichit’s cheeks turned bright pink as he looked down and started to stutter.

“I’m here to make your fantasizes come to life, just tell me what you want,” Chris purred and she stood up and walked closer to the blushing man. He draped his arms over the other man and rested his head on the other’s shoulder.

“I want to try everything,” Phichit exclaimed. “I want to learn what I like and don’t like. I want to know everything.”

Chris let out a good-natured chuckle before he put his act back on.

Chris ran his fingers up Phichit’s leg and said, “That could take a while.”

Phichit shrugged before saying, “I don’t care. I’ll hire you as many times as I need.”

Chris grinned to himself as he placed a small kiss on the other’s neck. “Then tell me where you want to start.”


	5. Summer in Hatsetsu

“Come on, hurry up!” Chris yelled back to the Thai skater as they neared the inn. It was the off season and they had decided to join Yuuri and Viktor in Hasetsu and were staying with the other pair in the family inn.

“Calm down,” Phichiht pouted, as he had been quite a bit more effected by the jet-lag than his companion appeared to be. “We have all week to get into the building.

Chris hurried back to his partner’s side and pulled the suitcase from his hands. “But der liebling, they have a hot spring in there. The sooner that we can get in. And it’ll be relaxing.”

Phichit didn’t even need to see Chris’ puppy dog eyes to know that he really _really_ wanted to go into the hot spring -  and Phichit had a pretty good idea as to why. Yes, his partner was usually really sweet and didn’t push things, but Chris was a man with two heads and usually followed the wrong one.

“You know how I feel about that nickname,” Phichit grumbled in return.

“What? Liebling?” Chris asked feigning puzzlement. “I think it suits you.”

“I’m not a ‘Ducky’.”

Chris burst out laughing at his partner’s response. Phichit had googled the nickname as soon as Chris had started using it. It was the German version of ‘darling’ or ‘love’, but the last suggested meaning in google translate had been “ducky”, and Phichit hadn’t gotten over it. Chris agreed that ‘Ducky’ suited his love, but for some reason it bothered Phichit when the Thai man was jet-lagged.

“I promise that it’ll be relaxing,” Chris maintained as he ignored Phichit’s grumbling.

Phichit allowed Chris to take his luggage and to lead him into the Inn. Yuuri’s mum showed them to the room that they were going to share and helped them set up their mats. Phichit looked at the mat one the ground and at the time on his phone. It was still only eight pm at home, so that meant that it had to be about dinner time in Hasetsu. Phichit groaned – there was no way that they would let him go to bed for another four hours.

Chris grabbed a towel and threw it at Phichit. “Come on Mr. Grumpy-duck, the bathes will cheer you up.”

Phichit looked at the towel in his hand and back at his eager lover. Phichit eventually decided to humor the man and started to head out to the change rooms. When he realized that Chris wasn’t following him, he turned back to see what was keeping the man. As Phichit turned, he noticed that Chris had his pants off and was working on his shirt.

“Oh my god, Chris,” Phichit giggled as he looked at the man before him and whipping out his phone. “Hiroko will have a heart attack if she sees you walking the halls like that.”

‘I’ll have a towel on,” Chris said as he walked towards Phichit, clothes finally off and towel thrown over his shoulder. “And you can’t tell me that you aren’t enjoying the view.”

A slight blush covered Phichit’s face as he swatted the Swiss skater with his own towel. “Shut up and cover yourself,” Phichit instructed and he took a quick picture of the man in front of him. Phichit had to admit that Chris’ body was stunning, but he still wished that the man had a little more decency.

They made their way down to the onsen without incident, and Phichit was very glad for it. They walked in through the change room doors and Phichit began to change. He was very aware of Chris’ eyes on him, and was extremely self conscious of every movement that he made. When he turned around and was ready to leave, he was shocked by how close Chris was standing.

“Come on, let’s get into the water,” Phichit said as he moved forward in order to hide his blush.

When they entered the hot spring, Phichit was shocked to see Viktor already there. The Russian man was sitting in the water with a towel on his head and his face sunk into the water. He was blowing bubbles through his nose and looked extremely disgruntled.

“Not you too?” Chris sighed at the sight of his best friend looking so down.

“Yuuri won’t let me help with the inn,” Viktor cried as he stood up and ran into Chris’ arms. “He’s such a meanie.”

Chris chucked as he pulled the man into him and tried to console him.

“I know how to make everything better,” Chris said as he whipped off his towel. “Picture time.”

The three of them spent the next half hour taking pictures of each other with their phones, and even included a few selfies in there for Phichit’s feed. They were just settling down when a yell of an obviously upset Katsuki came from down the hall.

“Viktor! What have I said about taking pictures in the Onsen?”

The three men in the water laughed and settled deeper into the water. Phichit snuggled in closer to Chris and sighed. Maybe Chris was right – the hot spring was exactly what he needed.


	6. Pining

Phichit sighed and looked at the time on his phone. It was eight am for him, and so it would only be three am where his lover was. They had a rule that they couldn’t call between one am and five am, because they each needed their sleep before training the next day. But Phichit didn’t want to go to practice. He didn’t want to get out of bed.  
He wanted Chris to be there and to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be alright.  
He glanced over to the cage that he kept on his dresser and tears started rolling down his face.  
Why did Chris live so damn far away? He would know what to do. He would know how to make him feel better. Having Chris here would make everything okay again.  
Phichit checked his phone to see why it was ringing – Celestino. It was the ninth time that he had called that morning.  
Phichit let the call go to voicemail and watched it blink off again. Just before the screen went black, it flashed his background which was a selfie with his three babies.  
The reminder of what had happened made Phichit throw his phone across the room and curl up into a ball. How could he have let this happen? How could she do this to him? She was his baby, and she did the most horrific thing that he had ever witnessed in his life.  
He didn’t even know that she was pregnant. Not until he found twelve tiny feet at the bottom of the cage, and a whole lot of blood.  
He cried at the thought – he hadn’t even gotten to see them. They would have been the most adorable things because they would have been the babies of his babies – but she ate them.  
Chris would have a good joke to make about this – but he was asleep in Switzerland. He was probably curled up next to his princess and snoring peacefully.  
“See, this is why my princess is better,” Phichit could hear Chris boast already. “Cats don’t eat their young.” And then he would pull Phichit into his strong arms and rub his back as he cried.  
Chris was good at making the best of every situation. One could even say that he was good at making mole hills out of mountains. Nothing was as bad as it seemed to the Swiss skater – at least since Viktor stopped skating for the first time.  
Phichit heard his phone start to ring again on the other end of the room. He didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to get out of bed. He didn’t care who was calling – he just wanted today to be not happening.  
Phichit eventually cried himself back to sleep. It wasn’t peaceful at all – it was like falling into a black abyss. He woke up some time later with the worst headache he had had in years. He knew that it was probably from all the crying – but he didn’t care. He just wanted everything to be over. No – he wanted Chris.  
His phone started ringing again and he looked over to the time. It was only ten am, but whoever kept calling him deserved an answer. So Phichit crawled out of bed and over to the phone. He hurt too much to walk; he didn’t even want to open his eyes.  
He picked up the phone and gasped at the name that was on the screen. Chris.  
“Hello,” Phichit sniffled as he moved the phone to his ear.  
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Chris demanded. “I have called ten times in the past hour. I was about to hop on a plane and come over there for you if you did not answer.”  
Instead of a response, Phichit just burst into tears.  
“Der Liebling?” Chris asked from the other side, his voice softer than it had been before. “What’s wrong?”  
“I need you here,” Phichit wailed. “I can’t stand that you’re so far away.”  
“And that is why Celestino woke me up at four am because you refused to answer your phone?” Chris demanded.  
“Well… No?” Phichit replied. “But that’s the result of it.”  
“Then why didn’t you show up to practice?”  
“She... She… She ate them,” Phichit cried into the phone, barely able to get his words out between sobs.  
“Who ate what?” Chris asked, now completely confused.  
“One of my hamsters was apparently pregnant, there’s nothing left of the babies except for their tiny feet.”  
“Oh my god that’s gross,” Chris yelled into the phone. “And that’s why I have a cat. All I have to do is feed her and pick up her poop. She doesn’t kill shit – especially not her own babies. Oh my god Phichit that’s nasty.”  
Phichit almost laughed to himself as he listened to Chris go on and on about how gross the situation was. The Swiss man’s voice went up an octave every time that he yelled “oh my god.” Eventually his rant calmed down, but he was still muttering “what the fuck” on the other end of the phone.  
“I know,” Phichit finally breathed. “I know.”  
“And why didn’t you just tell anyone instead of us all thinking that something had eaten you?” Chris finally demanded.  
“I don’t know,” Phichit said in a hushed voice. “I was scared. I didn’t know that she was capable of something like that.”  
“She’s a rodent, rodents eat their young all the time in order to protect the ones they love,” Chris stated. “They’re nasty little things. My princess says she loves me by dumping her water dish, yours says she loves you by eating her young to save you the trouble of raising them. She wanted you all to herself.”  
“That’s gross,” Phichit laughed into the phone.  
“I told you,” Chris said, and Phichit could feel the other man’s grin through the phone.  
They sat in silence for a few minutes before Chris spoke up again.  
“Need me to come over?”  
“Hell yes,” Phichit replied.  
“Then I’ll tell my coach when I get to practice and you call Celestino. Tell him he’ll be training me for the next week. Oh, and Phichit?” Chris started.  
“Yeah?”  
“Clean the damn cage before I get there.”  
“Will do,” Phichit laughed as the thought of getting to spend a week with his Chris.  
“See you tomorrow liebling,” Chris said before hanging up.  
Phichit rolled over and looked at the cage grinning. Maybe the situation wasn’t all bad – Chris was coming.


	7. A Surprise

Phichit was nervous as he waited for his best friend to answer the phone. He and Yuuri were usually extremely open with each other – mostly on Phichit’s insistence – and were always willing to help the other. This request though, Phichit was extremely nervous that Yuuri would say no.

Chris and Phichit were going to spend a week at Viktor and Yuuri’s new flat in Saint Petersburg. Viktor had apparently spent a fortune building it to be their dream home. It took up half a floor to the two of them and apparently had a dance studio for Yuuri in it. Which was the reason that Phichit had even come up with this idea in the first place.

Finally, the phone stopped ringing and someone picked up.

“Zdravstvuyte,” Viktor’s voice chirped through the phone. “Yuuri’s phone, Viktor speaking.”

“Hi Viktor,” Phichit replied. “Um… Is Yuuri there?”

“He’s in the washroom,” Viktor replied. “But you can talk to me.”

Phichit held his breath and counted to three. He hated it when Viktor answered the phone because the man was way too talkative. Yes, they sometimes had amazing conversations, but right now Phichit had to talk to Yuuri and it was something that Vikto couldn’t know about. He had a surprise planned for Chris and Yuuri would no doubt want to surprise Viktor too – that is, if Yuuri would even agree.

“I’m sorry Viktor, but I really just need to talk to Yuuri about this,” Phichit tried, though he could feel Viktor pouting from hundreds of miles away.

“You don’t need to be so mean about it,” Viktor wined. “I just want someone to talk to.”

“Viktor, it’s nothing personal, but the only one who can help me with this is Yuuri,” Phichit persisted.

“Why? Am I not good enough for you?” Viktor demanded – taking things way too personally.

“Viktor, no, you’re just the wrong person for the job. I don’t trust you because this has to do with Chris and everyone knows that you guys can’t keep anything from each other. So, I need to talk with Yuuri.”

Phichit heard Viktor gasp from the other side. The Thai man hoped that it was out of shock of Phichit’s accusation and not because Viktor had jumped to conclusions.

Sadly, he was wrong.

“Now you have to tell me,” Viktor stated. “Did he do something? Did he sleep with someone else? Oh my god, are you going to propose. You know I always thought that Chris would be the one, but I can totally see you doing it too? Are you going to make it romantic?”

Phichit rested his head against the wall in exasperation as he waited for Viktor’s questions to die down. He didn’t know how the man’s thoughts could branch out in so many different directions at once, but here they were. Finally, Phichit heard his saviour in the back ground.

“Hey Viktor, who are you talking to?” Yuuri called, obviously just entering the room.

“Oh, no one,” Viktor lied as Phichit could hear the older man shuffle away.

“I know that’s a lie,” Yuuri said, his voice getting closer. “Now who is it?”

“None of your business,” Viktor tried as his voice got further away, letting Phichit know that the white-haired menace was holding the phone just out of Yuuri’s reach.

“Viktor! Give Yuuri the damn phone now!” Phichit screamed into the phone, hoping that maybe Yuuri could hear him and think of a solution.

“Phichit?” Yuuri asked, though his voice was still slightly in the distance.

“Yes!” Phichit called back, feeling even more exasperated now that he knew that Yuuri was metaphorically just out of reach.

“Hang up!”

Phichit looked at his phone in shock. Why hadn’t he thought of that? As soon as the call ended the game would be over for the Russian and Phichit could get to Yuuri so much faster. So Phichit followed Yuuri’s instructions and hung up the phone and waited for Yuuri to call him back.

It took twenty minutes before his phone started to ring and when he answered it was obvious that the other man was out of breath.

“Sorry about that,” Yuuri’s wheezed as soon as he caught his breath. “I had to promise to make him Katsudon in order to get him to give me the phone, and even then, I had to lock myself in the bathroom, but I can guarantee that he’s got his ear pressed to the door in hopes of caching some of the conversation. So, what did you need to talk to me about?”

“I have a favour to ask,” Phichit stated. He was still a little cautious because he was almost sure that Yuuri was going to turn him down.

“Well what is it?”

“You know how we took fitness pole together back in Detroit?”

“Yeah?”

“Well I was hoping to surprise Chris with a routine and I noticed in the picture of your studio that you sent me that you have poles and I was thinking that maybe you could help me and give me a couple refreshers or maybe we could do a joint thing and surprise both Chris and Viktor with a routine. And I don’t know, I think it would be fun, what do you think?”

Whatever Phichit had expected as a response was not what happened. Yuuri laughed. He laughed at the proposal. It was a kind and genuine laugh, but it was still not what Phichit had been expecting.

“Why do you sound so nervous?” Yuuri asked.

“Why did you laugh?”

“You were the one who talked me into taking the classes and now you’re embarrassed to use them? The first time that the love of my life talked to me was while I was on a pole apparently, and I danced with your guy. No matter how hard I protested Viktor installed poles into my studio and I use them way more than I care to admit. And in all honesty, they’re a great tool in teasing, and the boys will love it.”

“So, you’re in?” Phichit asked hesitantly. He had forgotten how much his best friend’s coach had forced him out of his shell.

“Hell yes,” Yuuri whispered in response. Now, we’ll just have to figure out a way to get the boys out of the house while we practice.”

“Don’t worry,” Phichit grinned into the phone. “I’ve got that covered.”

“Alright, awesome. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow when you get here and we’ll get to work.”

Phihcit said his goodbyes and hung up the phone. His heart was suddenly pounding and there was a smile spread straight across his face. For once he was glad that Chris lived in another country – because Phichit was sure that everyone in Thailand could hear him screaming and dancing around his house in excitement.

…

Phichit had bought Yuuri and him three days to figure out a routine and perfect it. Phichit was worried that it wasn’t enough time for him to get back into the hang of it because he had been away from it for three years now and his muscles were already aching from the thought of how much control he would need. Yes, he had pressured the Japanese man into taking the lessons with him, but Yuuri had been substantially better at it. If there was one thing besides stamina that Yuuri had above every other skater, it was complete control over his body – at least when he wasn’t nervous.

Viktor and Chris left to go and enjoy their day at the spa, with the tickets that Phichit had provided, as Yuuri and Phichit waited patiently for the others to go.

“Viktor is already onto us,” Yuuri said through his teeth as he smiled and waved to Viktor and Chris pull out of the parking lot.

“He’s been on to us since I first called,” Phichit retorted.

“I’m just saying that he’s going to start scheaming with Chris and I don’t want you to be thrown off by how crazy they may get.”

“You act as though you’ve been putting up with them longer than I have,” Phichit grinned. “I know that Chris has no clue what’s going on and so we have all of today in order to get in as much as we can while Viktor spills the beans and they start to plan.”

“So, what should we do with that time?”

“Practice so that I can at least support myself on the pole without falling before cameras start following my every movement.”

Yuuri laughed and lead his friend back to the flat. They both got changed into workout clothes and met back in the studio. Yuuri laughed as soon as he saw what the Thai man was wearing. Phichit looked down at his fully covered body and blushed.

“I’m scared if pole burn,” he admitted.

“How do you expect to grip the pole through cloth?” Yuuri laughed. “Go get changed.”

Phichit sighed as he cringed at the thought of possible pole burn between his legs. There would be no hiding that from Chris and all bets would be off. He pulled on his swim trunks which were short and clung well to his body. He then removed his sweatshirt to reveal his wife beater underneath and returned in that. Yuuri grinned upon seeing the much more acceptable outfit.

“So how much do you remember?” Yuuri asked as he helped Phichit stretch.

“No clue honestly,” Phichit replied. “I guess we’re about to find out.”

They finished their stretches and each lined up next to a pole.

“Why don’t you start by climbing it just to see how far back we’re starting from?”

Phichit nodded in agreement and hauled himself gracefully up the pole – maybe he remembered more than he thought. Yuuri picked up a remote and turned on some music that all but pulsed through the room. Phichit spun down the pole and dismounted by leaning back until his hands touched the ground and slowly released his grip with his legs and arched until he was standing again. He looked over to Yuuri and nodded showing that he would follow the Japanese man’s lead.

Yuuri started them out with a Russian Split which was still a ground move. It required the dancer to stand with their back against the pole and to wrap both their hands around the pole with one leg between their arms. The dancer would then slowly lean forward until their stationary leg and their arms were fully extended and their free leg was stretched as far over their head as the dancer could manage.

Yuuri then moved them into a Shoulder Mount Half Flag which had the two men completely suspended off the ground by their hands and their legs split around the pole. Then the pace picked up. They righted themselves from the Shoulder Mount and did an arms only climb until they were high enough. They then fell into a Front Altitude Doughnut to a hip lock and then dropped until they almost hit the floor – or Yuuri did. Phichit Hip Lock Dropped right into the floor.

“Fuck,” Phichit muttered. “My reaction time was too slow.”

“It’s alright,” Yuuri laughed as he gracefully dismounted and walked to go grab water.

They continued like this until three in the afternoon. By then they had the start of a routine worked out based off Phichit’s current skill level. Then the two hurried to shower and to hide any evidence of what they had been doing. The poles were polished and dinner was started before four thirty when their boys were destined to be home.

As expected the boys arrived home exactly on time, almost as if they had waited outside the font door until the clock struck 4:30 in the afternoon. Both Yuuri and Phichit greeted their boys from the kitchen and innocently told them to get ready for dinner.

The rest of the evening went smoothly. They played Pictionary and charades until everyone was feigning fatigue and went off to their beds. Viktor and Chris had been subtly dropping hints that they knew something was up and were very persistent about asking what the other two had done that day.

Eventually Viktor and Chris went to sleep and their lovers had made it through day one without ruining the surprise.

…

The next day Viktor and Chris were sent off on a wine tour. They had at first protested and tried to insist that Phichit and Yuuri go with them. They eventually relented to going by themselves after being reminded that Phichit couldn’t stand the taste of wine and Yuuri wasn’t much of a drinker.

The two again watched the car drive out of view before they went back up to the studio to practice again. This time they only practiced until noon before Yuuri made them take a break.

“We need to go shopping,” Yuuri announced once they were rested and rehydrated.

“Why?” Phichit asked before finishing off his juice box with a loud slurp.

“You honestly don’t expect me to let you pole dance for your man in your swim trunks, do you?”

“I guess not,” Phichit replied. “Though do they even have a place to buy the proper clothes in Saint Petersburg?”

“Hah, the people may put on a front of being reserved here, but it’s just like any other city,” Yuuri laughed. “Now go get dressed before the boys show up and demand to go shopping with us too, because where we’re going will only increase suspicion.”

Phichit got dressed and followed Yuuri out of the apartment complex. They walked about four blocks until they came to a shop with tinted windows and the name written in large, red letters on the purple door. Phichit knew exactly what he was walking in to – he never expected to enter one of these shops with Katsuki Yuuri.

They walked in and Phichit looked in awe. The adult stores where he lived were usually dark and dingy – but this place was beautiful. Everything was displayed beautifully and there was so much stock. The section right by the door was women’s lingerie, and then, moving deeper into the store, it turned into toys. Though Yuuri lead them along the front wall until the women’s clothing turned into men’s.

Yuuri started pulling shorts off the wall and handing them to Phichit. They were all black shorts ranging in pitch, length, and opaqueness. Phichit blushed and knew that Yuuri’s face had the same hue as the Japanese man refused to even look in Phichit’s direction as they sorted through the shorts.

Eventually Yuuri seemed satisfied that he had picked out the best of the best and pushed Phichit towards the change rooms. A skimpily dressed woman stepped out from behind the counter and met the men.

“Hello Mr.Katsuki, Mr. Nikiforov isn’t with you today?”

The woman seemed to take a sick pleasure in seeing the Japanese man’s face turn an impossibly dark shade of red.

“N-no,” Yuuri stammered. “He… He’s on a wine tour with Chris.”

“Ah, and how is Mr. Giacometi?” the woman asked as she unlocked the door.

Phichit swallowed hard upon hearing that Chris was here often enough to be known by name – finding about Yuuri was bad enough, but his Chris.

“He’s good,” Yuuri replied a little more at ease. “we’re just trying to get together a surprise for them, so if they stop by can you not let them know that we were here?”

“Keeping secrets is my specialty,” the lady smirked. “Now, Mr. Chulanont, are you going to enter the changing room or did I unlock it for nothing?”

Phichit ran into the changing room and started to sort through the pairs. He eventually found two pairs that he rather loved and left to pay. The one was for the performance the next day – and the other was for later.

As they were leaving the store Phichit let out a small laugh.

“You know I almost forgot that we’re minorly famous. I thought that she knew you and Viktor from your frequent visits.”

Phichit looked over to Yuuri expecting the other man to be laughing as well, but his face was some how even more crimson.

“Oh, shit,” Phichit laughed before his thoughts went to his next question and he quieted right down. “And Chris?”

Yuuri let out a small chuckle. “Apparently him and Viktor went a couple times before you or I came along.”

Phichit let out a sigh of relief and they went home.

…

The next day Phichit and Yuuri had been planning to spend the morning with Viktor and Chris and then send them on their way a couple hours before the show – but the older duo decided to leave first thing in the morning.

“It’s okay,” Viktor grinned as he followed Chris out of the door. “We just have something we need to do and we’ll see you later.”

“Since when do you run errands on your own?” Yuuri asked.

“And since when did Chris have business in Saint Petersburg?” Phichit asked. “Chris, you don’t even live here.”

“I’m accompanying Coach Viktor because he doesn’t run errands on his own,” Chris replied with a wink.

The younger skaters were left dumbfounded as their partners gave them kisses before hurrying out the door. They looked at each other and wondered what the hell was going on. Yeah, Viktor and Chris had been acting a little suspicious, but nothing that said that Phichit and Yuuri were going to be cut out of the loop like that.

“What the fuck?” Phichit whispered as he turned away from the door.

“They’re going to investigate something,” Yuuri stated as he headed in the direction of the studio. “Iit’s good, it gives us time to polish things up – because they aren’t going to find anything.”

Phichit nodded in agreement. They hadn’t left any trails to follow, because honestly, they weren’t doing anything bad.

They started stretching and doing minor practices – going over moves and transitions that they had troubles with. Everything was going fine and peachy until Yuuri’s phone started to ring through the speakers.

He rushed over to answer.

“Hello?” Yuuri asked into the phone.

“Yuuri,” the voice of the woman from yesterday rang through the phone. She sounded pissed in a way that only a female Russian could.

“Yes Svetlana?” Yuuri responded, completely unsure of what trouble he had gotten into.

“You used the joint account Kobuta- chan,” she hissed into the phone.

“I could have sworn that I didn’t” Yuuri mumbled back.

“Then why is he yelling at one of my girls demanding to know what you bought yesterday?”

Phichit watched as Yuuri’s face went blank. So that was why they were in a rush to leave in the morning – they had a lead, and that lead was to a sex shop.

“Please tell me they think we were buying kinky stuff for them?” Phichit pleaded a little louder than intended.

“Oh, Mr. Chulanont, they have no fucking clue about anything and are making fools of themselves in front of my girls. Mr. Nikivorov came in with sunglasses and a black trench coat on – where he got that tacky thing I don’t even want to know. I think he thinks he plays a good detective, but he is no match for me.” Svetlana then laughed a little and told the boys that she would handle things and she would see them at four.

“Why is she seeing us at four?” Phichit asked Yuuri as soon as the phone call ended.

“To help,” Yuuri said sheepishly.

“To help with what?” Phichit demanded.

“Okay, okay - so I do this a lot,” Yuuri blurted out. “I put on surprise shows for Viktor and Svetlana helps get me into makeup and answers the door so that my costume can stay a surprise, and she films everything so that Viktor can enjoy the full show. She even edits out little bits for Viktor to post on Instagram – though he never does.”

“Too much information,” Phichit stated as he went back to stretching.

Things continued to go smoothly, though their boys weren’t home yet. Four o’clock came around and Svetlana showed up. She had a full arsenal of make up with her and was wearing a dress coat and itv appeared that that was it.

“So how long did it take for them to calm down?” Yuuri asked as the Russian woman set her things down on the kitchen island.

“You know Vitya. I Showed up and he started shaking in his boots. I ask problem, and he explained. Apparently, he has thought in head that Chulanont and Giacometi will be married. This had better not be proposal,” she glared at the two boys in front of her. “I no do proposal, they make me cry.”

“Viktor,” Yuuri laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Phichit demanded. “Now Chris thinks I’m going to propose and he’s gong to be so disappointed.”

“You don’t know, do you?” Yuuri chuckled.

“Know what?”

“Viktor and Chris have a bet going about who’s going to get married first. They’ve had the bet for years now, longer than you or I have been around. I think they’re just desperate to see the other happy – but it’s almost become an obsession to the both of them. They’re rooting for the other to win, though they would never admit it to the other.”

“I don’t know if that makes it better or worse,” Phichit sighed.

Svetlana went to work on the boys and the process took forever. She painted their nails and caked the make up on their faces so thick that Phichit was sure that it would take a river to wash it all off. Though when he looked in the mirror, he had to admit that he looked incredibly sexy.

At ten to six the two skaters were in the studio waiting in complete dark. Svetlana had come to check up on them after she got dressed in her outfit too.

“What, you didn’t expect me to spend all of that time and not look amazing too?” she grinned just as the doorbell rang.

“Does Viktor not have a key?” Phichit asked in confusion.

“Nope,” Svetlana said as she dangled a couple of familiar looking key chains behind her as she walked out of the room. “I return them later.”

…

“Eta shlyukha,” Viktor yelled as soon as he realized that his house keys were missing.

“Watch your mouth,” Chris teased as he watched his friend get flustered.

Then a light turned on in Viktors head. A smile spread across his face and he turned to Chris expectantly. Chris was shocked that the Russian man wasn’t jumping in place he looked so excited.

“What has you so hot a heavy?” Chris asked as he looked at his friend skeptically.

“We had it all wrong,” Viktor almost screamed. “Eta shlyukha.”

Viktor then started knocking on the door incredibly fiercely. Chris was almost scared that his friend was going to break down the door if he was left at it a second longer. Though before that happened the beautiful woman from the sex shop swung the door open. She was barely wearing anything. She was wearing a tight leather skirt that left nothing to the imagination, some fishnet stockings, and a black bra covered by a skin tight, sheer top.

“Welcome boys, your show awaits,” she said with a sultry smile.

She led the two men in the direction of the studio which was closed off so that whatever was waiting for them on the inside was hidden. She stopped outside the door and held out her hand. Viktor immediately handed over his phone where Chris was more reluctant.

“Give the woman your phone,” Viktor instructed. “Trust me, she has everything under control.”

Chris looked at his best friend a little skeptically but he did as told. As soon as the phone left his hand the door opened and smoke started to poor out. They walked in and they couldn’t see anything besides the two chairs that were placed in the middle of the studio. Viktor pretty much flew to his seat, and Chris wondered what he had missed. Viktor looked like Christmas had come early (which was big because it was also Viktor’s birthday), and Chris had no idea why.

Once Chris sat down, all the lights went out. Then the sultry Russian voice of the woman from the store came booming from the speakers. Viktor had already started clapping out of pure excitement for whatever was about to happen.

“Gentlemen of the audience, I present you Katsuki Yuuri and Phichit Chulanont dancing to “Intoxicated.”

Chris’ jaw dropped when the music to his old short program started to pump through the speakers then his eyes almost popped out of his head when the lights came on. Standing before him was his boyfriend dressed only in the shortest and tightest black shorts that Chris had ever seen in his life. There were designs running all over Phichit’s face and his hair was slicked back in a way that accentuated the best features of his face.

Then he started to move. Chris couldn’t take his eyes off of the scene in front of him. So, this was why Viktor was so compliant.

The way that Phichit was able to move around the pole was incredible. The other boy’s muscles flexed with every motion and glistened with sweat in a way that almost made Phichit look like a god. Chris licked his lips as he watched the entrancing show – Phichit was a god that Chris would happily get behind – and under, and over, and every which way the man wanted.

Chris stared in awe at his lover. He had no idea that Phichit could move that way. He had no idea that Phichit was that flexible. There were so many things that were going through Chris’ head, and so many things that he wanted to try that every time that Phichit contorted his body in a new way, Chris thought of a new way that they could fuck.

As the music came to an end, the lights all came back on, and Phichit and Yuuri dismounted Chris was still stuck dumbstruck in his chair. He could hear Viktor cheer and get up from his seat. He could see Phichit approaching slowly, almost teasingly towards Chris.

“I can’t believe he’s mine,” Chris thought as the god walked towards him. “Oh shit, he’s talking, think of something smart to say.”

“We need those in our house,” Chris almost whispered.

“Our house?” Phichit asked with a smirk.

“You don’t think that I’ll let you go anywhere without me after that? You aren’t leaving my side until I have had you in every one of those positions.”

“Chris, there are…” Phichit started to protest until he noticed that they were the only ones left in the room. They could hear one door slam and the shop lady yell “Have fun boys.” before another door slammed.

“You were saying?” Chris asked as he pulled his lover into his lap and connected their lips hungrily.


End file.
